 Have you noticed the sudden prevalence of news articles, quizzes and other social media discussing the qualities of introverts vs. extroverts?
Yeah, me too. For years, I thought that being an introvert denoted a shy (even anti-social) wallflower. Someone who is outgoing and confident in a crowd has to be an extrovert, then, right? Not so much. A friend who has done some pretty extensive research into the nuances of the two “verts” recently explained to me the basic difference between them, and it’s not what I expected. The divergence apparently lies in the way that each one recharges his or her batteries: An extrovert needs to go out amongst the throngs to refresh his spirits, while an introvert seeks out quiet time alone to rejuvenate herself. Hmm. Well then, despite being self-assured, friendly and unafraid to engage random strangers in conversation, by this definition, I am an introvert at heart.
2 Comments
 The soundtrack of my life is very eclectic, and it’s constantly evolving. If you saw the playlists on my iTunes, you would probably question whether I was a teenage break dancer or a senior citizen. Srsly.
These days, I find myself listening to a lot of techno and dance music, but that’s mostly by happenstance. See, I participate in a wide variety of fitness classes (boot camp, strength and interval training, cycling), and nearly all of them are set to the songs of Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Pit Bull, and a bunch of other odd-named Top 40 performers I had never heard of until I started suffering through burpees, deadlifts and squats along with the driving beats of their music. When I am not trying to keep up with my insanely fit instructors or stay on pace during a short run through in my neighborhood, I don’t seek out that kind of music. I mean, it’s great to keep me motivated during a workout, but I have no desire to hear “Timber” pulsing on my iPod when I’m trying to edit a book on estate planning law. Anyway, the above diatribe was intended to illustrate that I am open to ANY genre of music, under the right circumstances.  So I jumped off the cliff, and I didn’t fall on my ass. In fact, I landed pretty damn softly on my feet.
See, it was one year ago this week that I walked out of the corporate world and into the ranks of the self-employed. One whole year of no one telling me where to be or what to do. One full, blissful year of crafting a career on my own terms. Best. Decision. Ever. I hope I never have to get a real job again. You can read about my journey here and here. To sum up, I had been freelancing on the side for the prior six months, during which time I worked hard to lay the groundwork for a successful leap from a steady paycheck to sporadic income. I had created an LLC, launched this website, and built a referral network and nominal book of business to get my own little entrepreneurial ball rolling. When I quit my full-time gig, my economic scenario was not optimal to start a business. But it was decent, and I found myself at the crossroads of Piss Avenue and Get Off The Pot Drive. I had gotten too busy to do two jobs well, so I closed my eyes, crossed my fingers and threw myself off the ledge. I am SO grateful that I didn’t go “splat.”  I was a painfully shy wallflower as a child, and it took me until my late 20s to grow a spine and find my voice.
Once I did, whoa Nelly. I was loud and proud in the crowd. When I got lubed up with alcohol, I bordered on obnoxious. Fortunately, those two extremes are long behind me. Today, I’m outgoing and friendly, but I don’t feel the need to be the center of attention. I’m totally comfortable striking up conversations with strangers, but if you’re not interested in chatting, I don’t take offense and move along. All of this adds up to make me a first-rate business and social networker. Good thing, too, since my freelance writing and media consulting business is all referral based. WHO I know has proven to be as important and WHAT I know in my first year as an entrepreneur. Truth. I was chatting with a friend recently, the always affable John Zeydel, who is known around town as a master networker in his own right. He has been hosting No Rules Networking and similar events for the better part of 10 years, maybe longer.  Al Franken did a bit on Saturday Night Live in the 1990s called, “Daily Affirmation With Stuart Smalley,” a mock self-help show where the mild-mannered Smalley discussed his and his celebrity guests’ struggles with various addictions and afflictions.
Each satirical sketch ended with Smalley reciting his catchphrase in the mirror, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!” Sure, Stuart Smalley is a caricature of a person plagued with low self-esteem. But because all satire is rooted in truth, I would contend that there’s a little bit of him in all of us. I don’t know about you, but even in the best of times, I need a periodic — if not daily — reminder of my worth. I wrote a post last year about my struggles with self-doubt here, especially related to my freelance writing and media consultant business. The longer I am in business for myself, the more confident I’ve become about my abilities and potential for sustained success, but I still falter from time to time.  I was chatting with a girlfriend this weekend about the abrupt end to her most recent relationship. We are both in our 40s, better than average looking and college educated.
We take care of our bodies, nourish our minds and souls on a regular basis and try like hell to be good people. Yet we both end up dating the same guy in a slightly different package over and over. It never ends well for either of us, and we are damn sick of it. We both lamented that all the therapy and self-help work we have done does not seem to be netting any new results for either of us in the relationship department, and we wondered out loud why we neither one can seem to figure this shit out. This led me to ask the question, “How do you make yourself change the type of person you find attractive?” Reprogramming myself on the intellectual level has clearly not been enough to override my instinctive physical response to the men I meet. See, for me, there has to be some kind of chemical reaction when I first lay eyes on a man for me to be interested in pursuing him. If I do not feel that magnetic pull at first, it will never be there. Chemistry does not grow on me. |
About Amy HiggsA former newspaper columnist, Amy takes her random, slice-of-life stories to the web. After 12 years, she's still just saying. Archives
September 2020
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed